Silence of the Hams

A one-act comedy by Scott Waara and Marian Partee

CHARLES: I didn’t plan to steal that money, Maude. I was just in my truck, collecting our payoffs, and I got an idea. If I just kept driving…

MAUDE: To California?

CHARLES: I couldn’t tell anybody where I was. If they found me, they’d kill me!

MAUDE: But what about me?

CHARLES: Yeah, sorry about that.

MAUDE: You’re sorry? Here you are in Hollywood, livin’ high, wide, and handsome, and I’ve been cleaning toilets on the south side.

CHARLES: Well, here we are together again. It’s all water under the bridge, right?

MAUDE: I don’t know. I bet your friends would like to hear this story…

“Good things come in threes. The Great American Melodrama’s triad of light plays prove crowd-pleasers… Silence of the Hams, an original piece written by Marian Partee and Scott Waara, is the best of the three shows. It starts out with only background music and a small movie screen playing the opening credits and dialogue. The clever gray scene design gives the impression of watching a black-and-white movie. Even the costumes are in shades of black and white. Starlet Daisy LeFleur and leading actor Reginald Beale begin the piece silently, using only hand gestures and lip-synching. The side movie screens show helpful hints to the mystery dialogue, like “Are you hungry?” and “I’m full.” The action is silent until the director calls “cut!” from the back of the playhouse, bringing with him a Hollywood Tattler reporter, who has his own ideas of how the movie should go. Soon, the director’s estranged wife joins the crew and wants in on the movie, too. Naturally, hilarity ensues.”
~Lindsay Christians
The San Luis Obispo Tribune

Cast: 3 M, 3 W
Running time: 30 min.