Lyrics by Marian Partee
Music by W.A. Mozart (“Ein Madchen oder Weibchen” or “Papageno’s Act II Aria” from The Magic Flute)
The Great American Melodrama and Vaudeville in Oceano, CA, commissioned and premiered Rapunzel, or Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow, co-written with Eric Hoit. The theatre has subsequently produced it twice. City Lights Theatre of San Jose has also produced the show.
(PRINCE HARRY SUAVE, carrying a mirror, passes through the audience. His hair is a work of art)
HARRY:
My father says to find a pretty wife
To be our kingdom’s queen.
But though I’ve searched for all my life
No perfect woman have I seen.
(He spots himself in the mirror.)
My hair has such a splendid sheen!
Excuse me for a moment while I preen.
(He combs his hair, then turns to the audience again.)
Though father needs mollification,
My wife needs one qualification.
Her hair must be silky and fine
And just as exquisite as mine.
O, maidens
Sweet ladies
Come hither.
Do any of you have great hair
So the two of us could be a pair?
Show me hair with some flair
And you’ll answer my prayer.
(to a blonde or redhead in the audience:)
Now you, my lady might just do the trick
For you have very lovely locks.
Your face is fair, your hair is thick
And my girl, you really are a fox.
But I’m afraid your barber talks.
He says you got this color from a box.
(He points to a woman with long hair.)
And her hair’s amazing dimensions
Are just the result of extensions.
(He points to a woman with big hair.)
The woman with hair that’s so big
Knows someone who makes a good wig.
O maidens,
Sweet ladies,
I’m sorry.
But none of your tresses compare
With my nat’rally beautiful hair.
Women, do not despair.
(He points to a bald man.)
Balding men will not care.